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D., co-author of Her take: “The first guy I dated when I moved to New York let me take care of him, which I thought would lead to a relationship.I was doing things for him like baking cookies, redecorating his place, and having lots of sex, but I found out he had no intention of commitment at all.” -Kate, 28.

He must have been dating her right when he got quiet with me.” -Chrissy O., 29Expert take: Many guys are okay with dates and sex, but when it comes to weekends away or spending time with other couples, those that have a fear of intimacy can act weird.Those who use phrases similar to “hoping to be friends first” are usually looking for fun rather than commitment, says Laurie Davis, founder and CEO of e Flirt Expert, and author of You can also weed out the casual sex seekers by looking at the context around your planned date: Is he willing to set up a date for a week or so later?Meet for coffee or in a place where you can hear each other talk?“The more there’s courtship and the guy is pursuing a woman he’s interested in, the more powerful the reward is of actually being with that person is.If a guy gets everything up front, it’s quite possible his interest and that reward mechanism aren’t going to kick into gear,” Kerner explains.If the date feels like a hook-up, that’s probably what he’s seeking.

To be sure you don’t give the wrong impression, “set a date for the future, and make it the right time of day and place so the intention of getting to know each other is there in the beginning,” recommends Ian Kerner, Ph.

After a few dates with a guy, you feel like this could lead to something, when suddenly he falls off the face of the earth.

Or it’s been months—he’s even uttered the word “girlfriend”—and out of nowhere he says he’s not ready for a relationship.

After two months, I invited him on a preplanned trip with friends, but he declined.

After the trip, his text messages became shorter and the phone calls stopped.

Her take: “While out with friends, I met a guy who lived 100 miles away.