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I got to Big’s bedroom door, turned the knob, and went inside. And Big looked like he was just too through with all of us. Kim left the house and I stayed, talking to Big about why he couldn’t be honest with me about her. I was not going to be a ride or die chick, always going to lengths to show Big how I felt.

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Most of us, at some point in our lives, have hung posters of models and movie stars on our bedroom walls.Now, Evans is finally ready to speak candidly about that and much more in her new book, “Keeping the Faith”.Most notably, Evans writes the details of when she caught Lil Kim red-handed (and completely naked) in the bed of her husband. But I decided that I needed to know once and for all what Big was really trying to do.“It’s weird,” he said contemplatively, staring into a sea of models.“Lately, in order to want to sleep with someone, I actually have to them as a person.” He said this as if it were a mind-blowing revelation.Or perhaps we become more acutely aware of the impermanence of beauty after experiencing our own signs of aging?

Or, more simply, have we just realized that dating freakishly beautiful people isn’t all it's cracked up to be?

On that night before Christmas, I drove to Big‘s house on a mission to find out where I really stood.

The security guard at the gate just waved me in when I pulled up.

I stopped throwing punches for a minute to get a good look at the chick I was beating up. She was completely butt-naked, yelling as I pushed her around the room.

The other day, at a Fashion Week party, my friend Alan and I stood against a wall, scanning the room for hot people, as you do.

I told him that, at 31, the realization was probably a bit overdue, but I knew what he meant: As one gets older, it becomes harder and harder to be attracted to someone simply because of the way they look.