How to survive dating a married man
And if you can’t track it down through your own efforts, see a competent therapist to help you. in philosophy and was ordained a rabbi in Jerusalem in 1982.
A lover who is not your friend can easily hurt you. And if they do, they will make every effort to repair the hurt, just like you do with your best friends.If you don’t have peace of mind about marrying this person, track down the reason.If you are diligent, you'll discover the reason why you are dragging your feet.So before you commit your life to him, make sure you don’t have any hidden agenda or unexpressed expectations. And if you decide to be his wife, then be his friend as well. Rabbi Noah Weinberg, of blessed memory, would often teach that life’s most important question is “What am I living for? Two people who don’t know what they’re living for may have a difficult time growing together and staying together over the long run. To have peace of mind you have to identify and resolve the things that bother you about getting married or about marrying this person.” He maintained that until you can answer this question, you have no business getting married. To identify everything that bothers you, you must be ruthlessly honest with yourself and listen to your feelings.When there is a disagreement of any kind, small or large, this is when you find out how good or how bad your communication is.
The essence of good communication is that you can consistently reach win-win solutions to your problems and disagreements. The communication about the problem is the problem. One of the most important principles of marriage is: If it’s important to you, it’s important to me. Do you make jokes about the other person in front of others and then try to cover it by saying, “I was only joking”?
With the person you’re considering marrying you must be sure you feel safe.
How do you know if the two of you are emotionally open and honest?
” Gary Chapman in his book, The Five Love Languages, suggests that each of us has a dominant love language or emotional need that makes us feel loved when another “speaks” that language to us. It’s about taking on responsibility and being a giver. The cruelest thing a wife can do is nag her husband. Spiritual compatibility is one of the best ways to insure you’ll grow together.
They are: gifts, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, and physical touch. Judaism understands that the essence of being a man is to give and provide. If he’s a good man and he’s trying hard, give him your love, not your list of demands. This means you are on the same page in terms of your values, priorities, and life goals.
In addition, he provides an international coaching and counseling service via telephone helping people solve their relationship challenges.