Dating seroius men
The panic is made even worse by the traditional African notion that it is the responsibility of the man to handle all marriage and household expenses, even when it is clear that the woman’s job or income is much better than the man’s.
Tribalism/Ethnocentrism: Some African families have “blacklisted” certain tribes and/or countries, and would just not tolerate the idea of their children getting married to someone from these “blacklisted” societies.Many African men also prefer women who have legal status that they can benefit from; hence, they tend to get married to westerners rather than Black African immigrants.The words of a respondent say it all: ‘The truth of the matter is, we do not have a very wide selection of African men to choose from as we (the single women) outnumber them (the single men) in this country.As one Ghanaian respondent mentioned: ‘There is this guy who loves me so much ….I love him too, but I know my parents will be gutted and disappointed in me if I tell them that he is from … I’m just scared.’ Spending Prime years pursuing educational and Career goals: It might sound quite harsh, but one revelation made is that the best moment for most women to get suitable partners or husbands is when they are in their Prime.Hence, the need for them to capitalize on their young age, looks, and fertility to get the kind of man that they want.
For religious, academic or educational, as well as career or occupational reasons some young women dedicate less time to socializing and searching for that “decent man.” By the time they realize the need to have families, age had already caught up with them; and as looks or beauty and fertility commonly decrease with age, they end up in a position where attracting men becomes a bit more difficult.
‘I became a member of my church when I was only 20 years, now I’m in my late 20s, and none of the men in the church has ever asked me out or shown any interest in me.
Yet, my pastor wouldn’t welcome any of the many guys that have expressed genuine interest, just because they are not members of our church’, a quite attractive respondent lamented.
Other religious denominations also do not allow their members, chiefly women to date a man before marriage for fear that they may be tempted to engage in pre-marital s3x – which is viewed as a mortal sin by almost all Christian faiths and many other religions.
Misconception about educated African women: The difficulty in finding husbands is clearly being experienced by highly educated women as well.
Quite disappointingly, only 150 out of the 244 women approached did respond to the initial questions.